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Thursday, July 6, 2017

FAQ Regnier Fireworks

Another fireworks season is history. If I said I loved this time of year, most all of you would know I was speaking an untruth. However, if I were to say I love what we accomplish – that would be very true. My husband and son are to be credited with the kudos for organizing a fireworks stand that funds our community event, Celebration in the Sky. They are also to be commended for pulling off a fantabulous fireworks show that has come to be a much anticipated and enjoyed local event. Me, on the other hand – well – I spend a lot of time in the background trying to put out fires (pun intended) that come up during the busiest two weeks of the year at the Regnier residence. Here is my list of FAQ and the answers I have derived over this past few weeks:

Q: How much Powerade and water can our staff drink?
A: More than you think

Q: Why is a square thing with goofy pictures and a fuse called a cake?
A:  I still have no idea

Q: How do I take a picture of our fireworks crew AND be in the picture with them as they insist?
A: Grab an unsuspecting customer who just parked his car and offer him $5 in fireworks for clicking the button

Q: How come all of our “little” packs of firecrackers aren’t connected?
A:  To prevent someone from being disappointed that it only takes a split second to blow them all up at once

Q: How many snappers are in one of those little yellow boxes?
A: As many as can fit in there

Q: How much change do I need to get ahead of time because the bank is closed weekends and holidays?
A: Somewhat more than I actually get

Q: How come it’s always so hot during this thing?
A: Because our forefathers weren’t thinking it through when they signed the Declaration of Independence in the dead of summer

Q: What happens when I don’t speak fireworks-ese?
A: I am considered illiterate

Q: What happens if a surprise rainstorm hits?
A: Everybody yells commands at each other and moves really fast

Q: What if the girls find a stray cat and fall in love with it?
A: Find a farm girl to send it home with  (Thanks David and Chloe)

Q: How do I stuff more leftovers in the refrigerator?
A: Push really hard

Q: What do we do with all the cardboard?
A: Find someone with a big garden and convince them it’s mulch

Q: What do I do when the cat thinks he’s not getting enough attention?
A:  Go find Leslie

Q: What happens when you get tired of red T-shirts?
A: Switch to the gray ones. (This also works vice-versa)

Q: What happens when an artillery rack blows up during the show?
A: Point, laugh, and keep lighting

Q: What if the printer breaks the day before we open?
A: Send hubby to town for a new one

Q: What happens when the toilet breaks?
A: My personal plumber is the man

Q: What if the credit card machine breaks?
A: Call it in the old fashioned way

Q: What do I feed 9 college/high school age kids?
A: Most anything works

Q: What were the memorable quotes of the week?
A: “Our family is crazy. We spend thousands of hours and dollars to blow things up.” by Nolan
And, in regard to the man who spent $600 and asked Chelsea to throw away his receipt so there would be no paper trail for his wife to find: “I’m glad my husband doesn’t spend that much money on fireworks” by Cindy

Q: How do I endure all those kids being around all those days?
A: Fall in love with them. I lost my heart in a fireworks stand and here’s why:

Lance: You do the yucky jobs with a grin
Avery: You make silly jokes and eat stuff
Taygen: Your quiet goes well with your muscles
Chloe: Always happy and ornery
Trista: You understand Bernie’s numbering system
Leslie: You eat the ice cream
Chelsea: You make me laugh when I’m ready to cry
Kasey: My ‘Killer Cash Register’ tamer and chief barista
Nolan: your fireworks inventions make me proud and scared all at the same time
And so ends the saga of 2017 fireworks. Save the date in 2018. We’re already working on it!